I’m up against odds on this harsh winter night. The expected high is 16°, but it is going to feel a lot colder since I’m outdoors - all alone. My breath is cold, my water is frozen, and my food is gone. My shelter is not insulated, and this makeshift bed does not keep me warm. I am miserable - freezing to death, and the only thing keeping me going are the sounds of hope - an opening door, a car, a familiar voice - Hope. Hope that my best friend will come for me soon. — Dog
The SEC is considering dropping Texas A&M after the results of last night’s Chick-fil-A Bowl Game against Duke. A representative from the SEC stated that dropping A&M has nothing with the fact that they nearly lost – Duke played a hard-fought game. “Reasoning for dismissal is on account of A&M’s players and fans celebrated like they just won a National Championship and that was embarrassing, after all, it was only Duke.”
A Slippery Slope: Before the Winter Games
Russia refused the US Government’s offer to assist with security during the Winter Olympics. Analyzing what the NSA has gathered from Putin’s tapped emails and phone calls, it seems as if he doesn’t trust us.
Monsanto’s Billion Dollar Fuck-up
Monsanto lost billions of dollars after it abandoned a program that successfully created genetically enhanced honeybees that could replace the dying population of the European honeybees - which are dying due in large part by Monsanto’s genetically modified crops. Monsanto’s “super bees” are immune to all diseases and resistant to mites, and are quite possibly the only hope of keeping Mother Earth from her impending doom when the European honeybees completely die out. Unfortunately, since Monsanto scientists could not program the bees to pollinate only Monsanto crops the company uncaringly said, “fuck it!”